Hello all,

It is possible that I am going to be controversial with this post. I will not apologise for this but i am aware and acknowledge that some will disagree with me. Don't worry about this, it is a free country and i am expressing my feelings and my opinions. In no way do I wish to fall out with anyone about the way that I feel but still would like to share this with you.

I have been trying very hard to be objective about some of the recent posts that I have read on the forum but am failing miserably. It is almost impossible to ignore some of the opinions and confident assumptions about RA sufferer's needs. In my opinion, which has become subjective I will freely admit, it has become increasingly difficult to ignore the posts re this that i have read more recently.

Now when i joined NRAS i fell on the forum with great joy because here were people who really did understand, who didn't advise me to drink cat poo or apply mouse droppings! They/you know what the pain is like; you know how it hurts to hear insensitive comments and especially, you know how it feels to be patronised by those who know better than you just what it is like to live with this dratted condition and just what you really do need, even if you didn't realise this yourself! Those people can come under the heading of non-RA sufferers. Now off course not all non RA sufferers would even dream of being opinionated about something they don't have to endure any more than we would deign to know about something that we have not been diagnosed with.

I really want to come on to the forum and to be able to give and receive support to those who can sympathise with my suffering just as i can sympathise with theirs. I don't pretend to know just how anyone is actually feeling or suffering because we are all so individual - so different. I don't want to read how my nearest and dearest should be behaving around me. I am an individual and have individual needs as has every other person in this world.

Can I ask that we try not to be offensive and challenging to others when we express our opinions. The simple phrase 'In my opinion' would do much to soften the impact of whatever sweeping statements are about to be imparted.

As well as this, is the intention of the pages dedicated to carers, partners and so on meant to be where they can express their views to each other and should we respect this and offer privacy by not visiting those pages? Can we expect the same respect in return? I would exclude parents in this as they have very distinct needs which could not be met by partners, carers others.

I value comments as long as they are given in the manner that this poster would give in return.

Thank you for reading,

Eleanor x

Hi Eleanor,
I agree with you that the carers/partners page should be kept just for them.
Like you , I come on the forum for support and friendship and to support others and do not wish to read about how I am making my family suffer because I have RA, even though I am sure the writer of the recent posts you refer to is in the minority.
Only people who have this disease can really understand it and we come on here because we can say what we really feel to other sufferers without upsetting our families.
That is what we should keep the forum for...support ,friendship and being able to let off steam, an outlet that we probably wouldn't have without the forum.
And of course, don't forget our extra curricular activities......the pole dancing, snowboarding, iceskating etc..

Doreen xx

I do agree with you, Eleanor, although I realise that with a forum with a number of members there are bound to be differences of opinion. And sometimes it's easy to unintentionally offend with the written word.

Anthea

SNOW BOARDING....WooHoo, Doreen!!..... no-ones mentioned snowboarding before?! ;)
......but i think ill bring some industrial size bubble wrap!!!! xx